Off-Day

I feel like my personality does not help me achieve my ends. I fear losing my identity in pursuing my visions and dreams. This reminds me of the claustrophobia in my longer relationships. Perhaps losing myself is necessary to allow the relationship help me be a better person.

On the other hand
Context:
This morning I talked to a new colleague as I often did to my recently departed colleagues, spewing updates on my life, observations on the world and my responses to it. Her response was “wow, I’m getting a lot of judgment and bitterness” said in her usual valley-girl voice. I had a strong negative response to this.
I feel like judging a statement as judgmental has become the only unimpeachable opinion. I don’t buy it.
I judge judgment. I think people who identify judgment are frequently judging it in their too-noble and enlightened voices, temple bell smooth and lush in tone. Why can’t I have an opinion? Why can’t I have an overtly negative response? Why is that not allowed? Why is that judging and why is that bad?
There are things I don’t like. I don’t want to participate in those things if I don’t have to. I don’t like your town. This doesn’t mean I don’t like you. This doesn’t mean I think you’re less of a person for liking it. I judge this to be not mine.